Conversations with my niece

After my niece was born, she was in the hospital for a few days. On one of those days, she threw a temper tantrum. The nurse looked at my sister and said, "You're going to have fun with that one."


It didn't take long before she learned to communicate a little better, mastering the art of pointing.


Eventually, she learned that if she went and got her shoes and then went and got my shoes, we'd go for a walk. From there, it was a short step to leading us to the playground.

When she was first born, I called her "Squirmy" - for obvious reasons - but after her mom objected, I started calling her Monkey instead.


She insisted she was not a monkey.

Just before she turned two, we went out to the farm. There were a bunch of us in my mom's minivan, and we stopped for ice cream on the way back. My mom sat beside the monkey and fed her ice cream. I was in the front, and all I could hear was "num num num". I turned to my sister and said, "I think we have an ice cream monster."

It was quiet for a second, then I heard a very quiet "roar".

From then on, she'd roar at me on the phone. I, of course, had to say "Ah!".

Once I made the mistake of saying "Eek!", and was promptly told, "No, you not say eek. You say ah!"

When she was two, I was at my parents' house. We were eating fruit salad.
B: Auntie Colette, can I have your bananas?
Me: OK. *gives her my bananas*
B: Poppa, can I have your bananas?
Dad: OK.
B: Gramma, can I have your bananas?
Mom: OK.
B: Mommy, can I have your bananas?
K: OK.
B: (big grin) Only monkeys eat bananas.



Lying down to take a nap, B looks at her hand.
B: I can see my bones.
Me: Yup.
B: I don't like bones.
Me: Bones are important. They help you grow big and strong.
*silence for a minute, then*
Me: Why don't you like bones?
B: Because when the dog carries a bone in his mouth and then I carry it in my mouth, it's all stinky and slimy.



Me: "Hey, B, who's your favourite auntie?"
B: "Auntie Michelle and Auntie Camille and Auntie Wanda. Not you."

Today, she turns seven. (Seven! How did that happen?)

Happy birthday, monkey.

Love, your favourite auntie.