Make up your own joke here

There is a possibility that I will be going out of town tomorrow, so I decided that I should check the oil in my car today.

In theory, this would be a good thing to do before I go to work, because it's light then and dark when I leave work, but in practice I'm always too late.

Luckily, I park in a parking garage at work. Obviously, the solution is to check the oil after work before going out into the dark, right?

After work, I walked to the car. I put my laptop bag in the trunk. I unlocked the car. I popped the hood.

And ... I couldn't find the dipstick.

Admittedly, it's been a while since I checked the oil.

I stood there for a minute looking foolish, then closed the hood and climbed into the car. I opened the glove compartment and found the owner's manual. I flipped through it and found the diagram of the engine compartment.

I located the dipstick on the drawing, then popped the hood, looked underneath it and ... still couldn't see it.

Fine.

I closed the hood, went back into the car, put everything back in the glove compartment, and started the car.

When I got to the exit, I reached for my badge (which is also my parking pass). It wasn't there.

I looked frantically for it. It was nowhere to be found.

I was blocking the exit, so I pulled over into a parking spot and stopped the car. I checked my jacket pockets, then tossed my jacket in the back seat. I checked the floor of the back seat.

No badge.

I pulled everything out of the area where I normally keep my badge.

No badge.

I pulled everything out of the glove compartment.

No badge.

I reached under the front seat.

No badge.

I opened the trunk.

No badge.

Finally, I got back in the car and drove back to where I'd parked. There was no tell-tale white plastic rectangle on the ground.

I stopped the car and went to get out to go report my badge missing, and ... there on the floor of the front seat was my badge.

That's why it took me a half an hour to leave work today.

And I still haven't checked my oil.